the ol' bicentennial posting..

I only update this thing when it's extremely important(read: when I've got a lot of free time and don't feel like playing video games). Now is one of those times.

Friday was my last day at the real job for the winter. Same old deal. It seems like despite the lack of actual wintry weather, it's going to be cold enough to instantly freeze one's nuggets every time one steps forth outside of the domicile. I'd rather have last years piles of snow over the gale wind that cuts the chill through our apartment windows. I turned the drier on today just to warm the place up.

It baffles me how one child can lose multiple entire pairs of gloves in less than a week. At this rate we may need to take out a loan just to keep Kaitlyn in gloves through age 12, upon which time she can get by on her wage at the sweatshop(I'm sure they get a discount on the gloves if they knit them themselves..).

Insurance sucks, and the whole health care system sucks. No don't get me wrong it's not individuals, it's just the whole bloody money sinkhole it's become. I suppose i need to fall off a ladder at work or get a surgery and hope a scrub nurse loses a false nail in my insides so I can get my moneys worth out of the system. It really sucks for those of us who are barely above the level of "gubment pays for your ass", but still below the level of "can afford my cobra payments when I'm on seasonal layoff"...

But I digress..(actually I don't, I just like saying that I do..)

I am somewhat impressed that this form has helped me with a few typos, but does not flag the word "gubment" as being incorrect. well it did that time... what the hell?

Anyway. The winter has just begun, so you may hear from me again before all is said and done, but as per usual don't expect to read my delicious words in a month where you might say "hey the weather has been great all week!"

To my loyal fans: I love you.

the wheels in my head..

I hate people who call in to a pizza place and when asked what they would like they say "I want to order a large pizza." First off, if you are calling me and we are having this conversation, I'm pretty much going to assume you are calling me to order pizza unless you give me some sign that this is not the case. Unless you have absolutely no idea what you want on your pizza, I should not have to ask you what you would like on it. By saying "I want a large hamburger" instead you could have saved both of us an entire exchange. If you want, you can call it a "large hamburger pizza" in that sentence, if you must specify that you want pizza. It should be noted that the only other thing on the menu that comes in "large" size is fountain drinks, and I'm going to assume you do not want a 32oz cup filled with ice and beef. Another thing I hate? people who complain because they are assuming that there is going to be a problem with their food, rather than because there actually has been. Wait, you mean someone in the past has made an error on your order at a restaurant? I shudder to think what kind of place would hire someone as imperfect as a human to make your food. The lady from last night actually watched the events unfold as tara saved her thin crust pizza from being stuck on the screen it cooked on. Thins stick all the time, to us this is pretty routine. This lady looked at me like I had just raped her puppy(shock, and literal fury) and said "I saw you guys fussin with that, is it even gonna be edible?" her eyes were literally burning into me like she was just resisting the urge to jump over the counter and strangle me(and this woman is older than my parents. if she tried to jump over a book she would probably bust a hip). Seriously lady? did you think we forgot that there wasn't a wall between us and you, like we were being sneaky about the whole thing? "No maam, that pizza is garbage. since this box is sealed until you get home, and breaking the seal voids your 300,000 mile warranty i KNEW that there was nothing you could do about it. I make it my business to screw over the people that are already paying me ridiculous amounts of money for mid-grade food. Luckily you are obligated by law to order from us once a week, so customer satisfaction is irrelevant to us." Why the fuck would I have cut the thing and slid it into a box if it were trash? i benefit way more by not serving it if its unservable, because then I get to eat it later. Don't look at me like you "caught me in the act" when you have no fucking clue what you are talking about. If it was even a bit questionable I would have asked you whether or not you wanted it.Seriously you need to worry a lot less about what you CAN see people do to your food, then what you can't, because if you can see the guy fuck it up, hes not going to "try to hide it" three seconds later in the hopes that you have a massive head trauma that prevents you from knowing the difference. There's a damn guarantee on the box. If you have a problem, call back. Don't bitch because you are predicting with your immense mind powers that there is going to be one.

wow, and that was just an aside before the real post.

Finally got my call today. going back to work March 8. Finally.
Longest. Winter. Ever.
about the end of January I was dreading the call , when things were warming up a bit. Then winter decided to give us like 5 more snowfalls, and now I've been getting sick of NOT going back to work. Im getting so out of shape that my pants don't fit anymore.

Got crabs for valentines day. (har har)
They've been doing well in their little aquarium, though they're both troublemakers. one of them is always up in this little space between the filter and the side of the lid. They're like children. one second they're fighting the next they're conspiring in order to reach a more mischievous goal.
One of them molted already, which I wasn't prepared for. I don't have any salt in there for em yet, and the minerals are supposed to help them harden the new shell. and they're territorial little buggers so when the one is weak, the other one decided he needs to try and kill him. never saw any real contact between them, but the stress is bad for them, and he ended up losing one of his pincers(which is a little depressing). He looks much better today, hes darkening a lot(which means his shell is hardening), so hes not a sitting duck anymore and hes not letting the other(smaller) one push him around. Ashley read that it takes like three molts to grow back a limb, so heres hoping he does. need to get some salt, and work on getting some mollies, and some more stuff in the tank so the crabs have more places to hide(so when they molt they can withdraw instead of being out in the open).

Been watching Samurai Champloo off and on for some time. finally ended up finishing it the other day. I recommend it, good series for those of us anime nerds.

I hate Coke Zero commercials. they try to imply that it tastes exactly like classic Coke... no it doesn't. Coke is my favorite of carbonated beverages, and honestly I'm not picky about drinks. Coke Zero is the only pop we've ever had in the house that I will not drink. Even if I don't LIKE something I will still drink it.

Had some "Late Night all nighter Cheeseburger" flavored Doritos for the first time. I loved em. honestly reminded me a bit of loose meat sandwiches at Waldos(that place shut down when I was a kid), or maybe Tastee burgers.. you can taste the hint of mustard and pickle.
Not as good as the "Late Night Taco" ones(those things are amazing), but still pretty good.

But yeah I had typed about this much on my phone a couple weeks back trying to update the blog on the go, and since my phone is the devil it didn't work out. That really means once I go back to work I'll be way less likely to update. A shame because I really get pumped when I get to write.

My name is Joe and this is my new blog.
It's been a while since I've had one of these, and I think it's about time I made one of my patented epic posts. Anyone who has ever read one of my blog posts will know that they are not particularly frequent, but tend to drone on long enough that an intermission would be required at any public reading attempted. I'm not 100% decided if I'm wanting this blog more due to the fact that I simply haven't had a real creative outlet in so long, or due to the fact that it can be updated via text, which gives me a great new use for my new(read FREE) full keyboard flippy phone, since I can't really afford a data plan that would make it total rocksauce(you heard me).

Anyway to the blog. I suppose I should introduce myself on the off chance that there be some poor fool who happens upon this place by accident. As previously stated, I am Joe. I'm a father of two with a beautiful wife who puts up with almost 90% of my bullshit(trust me this is quite the find). I have a good life, and a happy family with whom I share 110% of my love.
My family is the part of my life that I'm truly proud of, my one great accomplishment.

I'm restless.

I'm lazy.

Unfortunately these two thing compliment each other in a way that leads me to doing very little and feeling abnormally agitated about doing so.
I hate my job, yet I still like it way more than any other job I ever had. I know everyone hates their job: blah blah under-appreciated blah blah hate my boss etc.
I've actually got a pretty damn good job. I make commission on how much I produce(even more for making sales, but I'll never be a salesman. I tend to be thoroughly infuriated by salesmen). I have great benefits. Good insurance? check. doesn't cost an arm and a leg? check. eye plan that PAYS FOR GLASSES? wow, check. I even love my boss, hell all of my bosses are awesome.

My problem is I get so used to all but turning off my brain that I have trouble getting it switched back on. I've been on seasonal layoff for what two months n0w and I've accomplished NOTHING. I mean I clean the house(though not as much as I should), I give plasma twice a week for chump cash and deliver pizzas for mega chump cash. The rest of the time I do nothing. My dreams are huge, I've got oodles of time to get things done, and I spend my days napping on the couch, eating corndogs, and surfing the web.

I don't even enjoy it.

That's right.. granted it's very enjoyable to do absolutely nothing for the first day, maybe day and a half, but once you get into a rut of doing it, you run out of nothing to do. I don't know how my parents do the whole "being retired" thing.

Anyway I'm sick of doing nothing. Yesterday I picked up a hobby I tried my hand at a while ago and never really finished. I started trying to learn programming again. I really want to program games, but if I get decent at programming, I can get a job developing software and have more fun being challenged for more money than I'm making now. Being able to program is one of the many dreams I've had for years and never followed through on. Hopefully this time it will stick.

Fingers crossed.